The secret to good sex – wouldn’t we all want to learn what distinguishes exceptional encounters from meh ones?
Learning from the experience of those who’ve been happily in love for many years is definitely a good idea. So, what do couples have to say about great sex?
It’s Not About Quantity, It’s About Quality
When it comes to sex frequency, most people wonder about what’s normal. Is it once per day? A few times per week? Once per week?
The average couple that’s been together for some time will have sex on the average once per week to a few times per month. These people, however, understand one very important thing – quality is much more important than quantity.
Having amazing sex once per month is much better than mediocre quickies every other day.
The most important thing to understand is that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others and the sex life they’re bragging about (and that’s probably wildly exaggerated). As long as your needs are being met and the sex is amazing, the frequency becomes a parameter of secondary importance.
Trying New Things Is the Only Way to Maintain the Excitement
Even the best sex on the face of the planet can turn into a somewhat boring routine after some time.
People who have been with the same sexual partner for years understand that good sex necessitates experiments and trying out new things.
Learning about new positions, discussing fantasies and even a bit of role-play can take sex to the next level. When two people already know each other well and have a lot of trust, such experiments can be massive successes.
Bringing sex toys into the bedroom is another great idea that will result in a ton of diversity. From trying out various dildo sizes to picking more advanced, hi-tech sex toys for couples, such naughty additions can really deliver in the bedroom.
Good Sex Is about a Bit of Compromise
Compromise is the heart and soul of every good relationship.
When it comes to sex, compromise is once again important.
Chances are that your partner enjoys things that don’t do the trick for you. Giving them that kind of pleasure is at the core of a healthy sex life. Needless to say, your partner will need to reciprocate in order to ensure both parties involved are equally satisfied.
You Should Be Capable of Laughing Together
Sometimes, sex can get messy.
Bodies make strange noises and we can do dumb things in the heat of the moment. Happy couples know that they shouldn’t sweat out the small stuff. Laughing together in the bedroom and not taking things too seriously can contribute to some really amazing experiences.
Sometimes, sex is amazing. Sometimes, things can go really wrong! If you obsess over those things, you will ruin the intimacy and put unnecessary pressure on yourself.
So, relax and take it slow! You don’t need to be perfect every time and messiness can be a lot of fun sometimes.
Sex Isn’t a Bargaining Chip
Withholding sex as a form of punishment is a big no-no if you value and respect your partner.
Sex should never become a bargaining chip to get your significant other to do something that you want them to.
Do not turn sex into a bargaining chip or a reward for a specific type of behavior. Such strategies can give birth to resentment and deep-seated issues that may be impossible to overcome in the long run.
Sometimes, You Just Have to Do It
The longer you are together, the less time you’ll have for sex.
At the beginning of a relationship, things are passionate and spontaneous. As time goes by, you’ll start having lots of responsibilities that will stand in the way of spontaneity. Work, chores, and dealing with the kids can be all be draining, killing the desire for sex at the end of the day.
People that have been together for years know that appetite comes with eating. Hence, they use the little opportunities to have sex, even if they don’t feel like it.
Scheduling intimacy isn’t the most romantic thing on the face of the planet but quite often, sex is the bonding glue that keeps people securely attached to each other. Thus, enjoying a quickie even when the conditions aren’t too optimal is definitely the right way to go.
Long-Term Happy Couples Don’t Expect Earth-Shattering Sex All the Time
While you should always shoot for the stars in the bedroom, it’s crucial to forget about expectations and pre-conceived notions.
Sometimes, sex is going to be just ok. Sometimes, it’s going to be bad. That’s ok – Hollywood sex is unrealistic and it doesn’t really occur that often in real life.
According to psychologists, happy couples keep their expectations realistic and they don’t postpone sex until everything is just about perfect. Instead, they recognize that intimacy can sometimes be physically uncomfortable or not as satisfying as it should be. As long as communication is open and honest, such inconsequential issues can be addressed and resolved quickly.
The more you know about yourself and your partner, the better the sex is going to get. That’s the one conclusion to draw from the secrets that happy couples know about intimacy. Great sex takes some work and commitment. Mistakes do occur. These, however, don’t really interfere with having a satisfactory sex life, especially if you know how to seek and receive pleasure from a special someone.