If you have chronically low self-esteem, then there’s a good chance that this came from other people.
The nasty thing about insecurity, jealousy and low esteem is that they are contagious. If you aren’t confident in yourself, then it will often cause you to become destructive and mean. You might put other people down in order to feel better about yourself and you might try to prevent others from fulfilling their potential because you don’t want to be left behind – even if this is happening in an unconscious way.
At the same time, low self-esteem can mean you talk other people out of taking chances or following their dreams. This is not out of malice: in this case it simply comes down to the fact that you don’t have much faith in the ability that anyone has to change their fate.
Chances are that you’ll know people like this in your life and that they could be the reason for your low self-esteem and confidence. Most upsettingly, there is a better-than-average chance that this came from your parents.
The number one way to raise a happy and confident child is to love them unconditionally and to believe in them 100% and support them 100%. You need to be confident in yourself to do this.
So, what do you do now if you’re trying to fix your low esteem but you’re surrounded by people who are dragging you down?
The Best Advice
The tip you’ll often read is that you should simply cut off contact with toxic or destructive people.
I’ll say that you should take this advice if anyone is being purposefully cruel or belittling. You don’t have time in your life for malicious people.
But if someone is doing it unintentionally, you shouldn’t just write them off: chances are they simply need help.
What you do in the meantime is to surround yourself with more people who are positive, supportive and who do love you unconditionally. And you always remember to view what the toxic, negative people say through a lens of logic and reason. If they are putting you down, is it because they have a genuine point? Or is it because they themselves have low esteem?
Finally, try to build them up too. That means you should ask them why they feel the way they do and do everything to support them. You can pull each other out of this funk, that is what friends are for after all!