Family Fortitude – Get Your Family Out Of A Rut

Relationships are the basis of any type of liaison. Within the various types of liaisons, the family relationship is the springboard to it all, simply because the very first relationship formed is that of the family unit. Learn how to form good relationships here.

Family Relationship Basics

There are several stages in every family relationship of which some are good, and some are very trying indeed, while yet others are just simply very difficult. Understanding and learning to cope with all the various stages will help make better and stronger family ties in the long run.

Within any family relationship journey, there are several different elements that all the members have to deal with such as the challenges of the parents being in the workforce, juggling the children’s and their schedules, the introduction or loss of family members, and the list is never-ending.

Some may find that reading or learning from the examples of other relatively successful family relationships can be helpful while others prefer to make their own rules and mistakes as they go along. Though each has their thoughts on this, it is very important to realize that some compromises have to be made if some level of success is to be achieved and maintained.

Learning the art of finding and focusing on what is right with each family member within the unit rather than constantly harping only on the negatives. Always making an effort to give each other the benefit of the doubt is also encouraged.

Learning to cope with or try out as many methods as it takes to manage and truly accept the frustrations, disappointments, and hurt that are bound to occur along the way.
Agreeing to disagree is one way of showing the members of the family unit, each’s views and opinions are respected. This particular element is very important when trying to encourage honesty when it comes to feelings.

Figure Out What Is Missing

Going through a relationship especially the family relationship without acknowledging there are problems is not very wise and can cause very serious repercussions.

What Is It

One way of overcoming this is to try and find out what is missing or causing this unbalance. There are several ways this can be done and here are just a few areas that should be given due consideration:

  • When most family relationships start out there is a preconceived idea of how things should be and most of the time these ideas do not play out well in reality. Being able to adjust accordingly is always better than stubbornly sticking to one’s own agenda.
  • Understanding and expecting that there are going to be some changes occurring along the way is another important element to factor in. If all the members of the family are not made aware of the importance of this fundamental point then there will definitely be a lot of tension built up that will eventually result in a lot of pain and heartache.
  • Being open to seeking advice and even counseling from parties that have the necessary tools to help should be an automatic reaction when problems cannot be solved within the family amicably.
  • In the quest to figuring out what is missing, resorting to emotional blackmail, emotional withdrawal, resigned feelings and other negative elements will not help nor will it assist in an already bad situation.
  • Sometimes simply addressing the situation in a calm and gentle manner will help to encourage all involved to open up and share their thoughts and feelings. In most cases when this is done a lot of interesting and new information is learned and understood which can bring about a better understanding and acceptance from all parties. There can even be instances where the relationship becomes even better.

Identify Your Goals

There are several types of goal setting exercises that can be adapted to suit the need of a family unit. These goals will vary greatly from one family to another, so there is a need to define what the family goals are as a unit and as individuals within the family. When this is successfully done then the identification of the necessary elements that will produce the desired results can then be designed.

What Do You Want

Family goals are a very powerful way to build trust, communication, togetherness, and many other positive elements. It’s also a good way of encouraging children to learn how to set goals within their little worlds. Here are some recommendations that can be followed in the pursuit of identifying and setting goals:

  • The exercise of setting goals should be done with the participation of every family member. This participation should be active rather than passive, and age should not be a deterrent. Younger children can sometimes be surprisingly insightful and can come up with very workable solutions to a particular goal.
  • Limiting the amount of goals the family has to work with is also advised. When there is too much going on, there will be very little concentrated focus on actually making a success of the goal and its eventual positive results.
  • Identifying and setting the goals should not be limited to any particular time of the year or phase in a family member’s life. These exercises should be done if and when necessary and in a spontaneous fashion to ensure there are no threatening feelings arising.
  • Setting up an incentive plan within the goal setting exercise will also encourage maximum participation and results of all the family members.
  • Sometimes it may be necessary to set a time frame for the intended goals set. This is to ensure some results can be forthcoming rather than constant procrastination.

Try New Things

Trying new things like inspirational family quotes is always encouraged as it often comes with new insights into old thoughts and ideas. This exercise can often be very refreshing and inject some well-needed zest into tired relationships especially when the journey has been particularly difficult. Though trying new things is definitely encouraged, doing so with a little consideration for the other parties feelings should be a conscious concern.


One of the main reasons people often fall into a rut is because of the element of habit forming. When habits are formed and individuals get too comfortable within the “zones” the other parties connected to the relationship may feel negative elements of neglect, being taken for granted, boredom, and many other similar and detrimental manifestations.

Having routines are good yet being inflexible and intolerant especially when new things are suggested could result in a lot of ill feeling both with the individual and with others.

Making the effort to discover and list new and possibly suitable things or ideas to try can be quite exciting if done in a non-threatening fashion.

This can inject life into a relationship that may be facing mundane routines. It can also help to make the parties involved feel valued and important. When this is done the list should then be attached to a checklist so that the actual accomplishment of each new item can be recorded.

As the checklist shows more positive results, the motivation levels will increase to try even more new things and ideas and this will help to create a heightened sense of excitement for all involved.

If one is so out of touch due to the habitual behavior patterns followed, using tools such as surfing the internet, reading magazines, talking to people can all bring forth ideas of things to try. This is especially beneficial as the positive results have already been experienced by those recommending the ideas.

Take Action

Sometimes having all the necessary information and tools available but not taking the next step that requires some sort of action to be taken does not help at all. Being well informed yet refusing to use the said information to benefit others is information wasted indeed.

Get On It

A lot of situations today become problems simply because people are unwilling to get involved or take some sort of action. Instead, most hope that the situation will right itself or simply go away. This lack of action can and as evidence has shown is detrimental to any relationship, especially the family relationship unit.

Thus there is a very important need to not only address the situation but also make all efforts to design and execute a well thought out plan to rectify the situation.

Problems will always exist in one form or another and if one is well prepared or used to launching into a mindset of problem-solving the exercise will eventually become easier and more result orientated.

Taking action can sometimes be an unpleasant task but nevertheless, it should be done at the earliest possible opportunity. Allowing the situation to right itself may not happen and this could result in an even more difficult situation.

Enlisting the help of others who may have better experience or knowledge on how to approach the situation is very helpful especially if the said situation and the individuals involved do not have good relationships.

Taking action can also mean addressing the situation and bringing it out in the open for all to see and understand. In doing so some aspects of the situation may be brought to light and be better understood.

It will also to a certain extent force all those connected to the situation to be more forthcoming with their feelings and contributing factors that caused the situation to reach such a state.

How Not Fixing Your Family Relationships Can Harm Your Life

There are so many distractions in today’s world that often people tend to avoid addressing the negative situation. The reasons for the unwillingness to address these negative situations range from time-consuming to simply unnecessary.

Having such a cavalier attitude may eventually cause irrevocable damage to not only the individual but to others too. Therefore there is a need to address any negative element in a family relationship before it causes harm to one’s life.

How Not Fixing Your Family Relationships Can Harm Your Life
How Not Fixing Your Family Relationships Can Harm Your Life

The Issues

Then there is the issue of health. By not addressing and fixing the wrongs in the relationship, the stress the situation can bring will eventually manifest in illnesses.

This is a scientifically proven fact, as many illnesses, today can and often are linked to some form of mental unhappiness mostly brought on by relationship issues. Stress levels have also been known to be elevated due to these negative unresolved family situations.

Simple family gathering events can be marred with the underlying currents of animosity between members which can strain the general atmosphere of perceived happiness. Even trying to organize such a family event where there is animosity between parties can prove to be a nightmare.

As the negative situations are left to fester there are many possibilities of undesirable outcomes that can be experienced. Therefore very early on when such a situation is noticed some firm action should be taken.

Wrapping Up

Harm can come in the form of strained relationships whereby family members are forced to take a side. This negative choice can then bring about the animosity that is often elevated to painful and dire platforms. In some cases when the negative relationship situation is left for too long it is very difficult if not impossible to put right.

Too many positive feelings are destroyed and what is left is only a lot of misunderstood but negative ones. Get your relationships in order today.

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