You are the happiest woman in the world. Friends say that you belong together. And out of the blue, he says he wants a divorce?
But even if your relationship wasn’t a bowl of cherries lately, how can he leave you when you love him so much?
Standing tall during a divorce process may be a real challenge. It gets even harder when your husband wants to go separate ways, while you truly wish to spend the rest of your life with this man. But the least you want right now is to get through a divorce by burying your life and doing things you may regret later.
Here are a few recommendations for getting through a divorce when your feelings are still strong.
Admit That a Break Up is Inevitable
We all go through four stages of grief before we can accept changes. It’s human nature. But the sooner you admit that the divorce will happen anyway, the easier it will be for you to move on. You have no power over someone else’s feelings, so thank your ex-spouse for what you had and look forward to new adventures.
Stop Spreading a Bad Word
Feeling rejected is always painful. No one can judge you for wanting support and understanding. But although the temptation is great, refrain from maligning your husband among your friends, relatives, and especially your mutual kids. Feeling bad, it’s easy to fall into exaggerations, lies, and slanders. Not only may you ruin every chance of him coming back but also push away those who care about you.
Don’t Seek Revenge
And don’t try to “make him pay for what he did to you”. Cheating with his best friend, destroying his car, or disclosing his private pictures and videos on the internet may seem like a good idea when you’re furious. But it’s not. The feeling of satisfaction will soon be followed by a deep regret and shame, let alone that it may damage your happy future. Instead, keep your head high and have faith that time heals. It will get easier before you know it.
Join a Support Group
You’re not the only person divorcing someone you still love. Many other women are going through the same hardships as you do. You just need to find them.
Joining a support group for broken hearts is a good way to keep yourself out, find understanding, and support. Besides, giving a hand to someone who suffers more than you can be a great distraction from your problems.
Avoid Self-Deprecating Thoughts
Self-blame and self-accusations are common among women left by their husbands. “It’s because I gained weight, he doesn’t love me anymore”. “I am not smart enough for him”. “I look disgusting. Who would love me?”
It’s time to realize that it doesn’t matter why he left and self-deprecating thoughts won’t bring him back. If you don’t like how your look or feel, now is the time to change it. From now on, the future belongs only to you.
If you’re divorced but still in love, it doesn’t mean that you have to stay at home, crying your eyes out and getting drunk every evening. Instead, channel your energy to something useful.
It’s a proven fact that exercising is as much effective as antidepressants. Only the latter ones will never give you a seductive shape and stronger health. Joining some sports classes or going to the gym is also a great way to find new friends and perhaps even start new romantic relationships. Try martial arts. They are said to be the best in releasing your fury and healing broken hearts.
Find a New Hobby
How to get through a divorce when you still love him? Find a fascinating hobby that would keep you busy among other unique people. Try cooking classes, ceramics, clothes design, traveling, you name it. Now you don’t need to cook for someone or be home straight by dinner so use this time to enjoy your freedom, learn new things, and get new acquaintances.
Make Time to Be Alone
Being around people who love you may be a good remedy against a broken heart but also it can be exhausting. Alone doesn’t mean lonely so don’t fear taking some time for you alone when you need it. Do care procedures, cry in the pillow, read, or sing – everything works fine until it helps you go through one of the worst periods in your life.
Get a Dog
It’s impossible to be sad when a small furball wiggles his tail and looks at you with his loving eyes. Getting a dog has many advantages. He teaches you discipline, makes you spend more time outside, aids new acquaintances, and is someone you can hug at night. And rather than digging deeper into your regrets and sorrows, you’ll have someone to care about no matter what. Isn’t it something worth waking up for in the morning?
Be Honest with Yourself
Sometimes what we think love is just a desire to show everyone that you’re a happy wife and your relationship is nothing but harmony. And if the feelings are long gone, perhaps it’s better to let him go? Going on a leash of your pride and egoism will only waste your valuable time and energy.
So if this is the case, take the first step and file for divorce online in Utah. The faster you end this marriage, the sooner you can start dating and meet someone you care about.
How to get through a divorce when you still love him? Time heals they say. But while you’re waiting, make more time to care about yourself, do what invigorates you, meet with people who love and support you, and invest in your future. And yes, you can shed a tear or two. Just don’t make it your whole life.