It has been stated that the most stressful things in life are the death of a spouse, divorce, and moving into a new house. Moving home can be an overall happy experience, and the death of someone special can be traumatic, but getting divorced is equally very stressful. What’s more, when you have young children, it becomes even harder to navigate, even for the most balanced parents.
Indeed, many parents worry that their children will become unmanageable or will resent them following a divorce or separation and will therefore be looking for the best ways to manage their divorce healthily. A happy divorce is something most families strive for, especially if the circumstances that lead to divorce are no one in particular’s fault.
So, what do you need to do to make your divorce as stress-free as possible for yourself and your kids?
Seek Professional Help
It may seem to be jumping the gun a bit to put your children into therapy just after talking about you and your partner’s divorce with them, but seeking out advice on separation from websites like twohealthyhomes.com as well as calling in a therapist to help is one of the best things you can do. It may even be worth going into therapy yourself if you can.
This will allow you and your child to talk to an impartial stranger about the separation and will allow them to work through their difficult feelings under the eye of a trained professional.
Talk It Through
Always be sure to talk to your children about what is happening, but be sure not to burden them with the information. Explain it in clear and easy-to-understand language, and be sure to answer any of their questions. Do not divulge the reasons why you are separating if they are complex (such as adultery) but be sure to remind them that you and your former partner love them very much and will be there for them.
One way to ensure a divorce has minimal impact on your children is to never argue about it in front of them. Arguing in front of children is considered abuse, and rightly so, as it creates an atmosphere of intense fear and intimidation. If your partner is angling for an argument, don’t engage, and be sure to walk away.
Remember, there is nothing to be gained from screaming at your ex in front of your child or children except a lot of trauma on their part. So, keep them safe and be sure to argue (if you need to) when they are not in the house.
Keep Up the Status Quo (If Possible)
It is important for your child (and for you) to keep the status quo during a divorce.
Aim to keep them engaged with their activities, allow them to see their friends or grandparents on the weekends, and be sure to be as engaged with them as you have been. This will allow them to feel secure and will showcase that the world isn’t ending because you and your former spouse are separating.