The following is a continuation of the “Relationship Rescue” articles. This particular problem can be a real bummer in a relationship very quickly.
Too Deep, Too Fast
How many times have you fallen head-first in love with someone only to learn that they’re not quite in the same place emotionally as you are? It’s a common story that can sometimes lead to heartbreak and misery.
You might feel as though you’ve found Prince Charming or Miss Right, but your partner might see things a little differently. Their viewpoint could be more in line with just having some fun. Perhaps they’re just discovering their feelings for you and aren’t quite sure what they all mean yet.
When there’s a distinct difference in the speed you’re both moving things forward, this can sometimes be a source of insecurity for one person, while the other may begin to feel pressured.
Both of these symptoms can be enough to break down a relationship before it’s even begun.
Mending the Rift
It’s important to remember that not everyone will feel the same things at the same time. Expecting your partner to fall in love at precisely the same rate as you are unrealistic.
Far too many promising relationships end because one person is happy to express feelings of love and devotion and even begin planning the wedding, while the other is still trying to make sense of the things he or she is feeling.
This lack of synchronicity usually leads to arguments and feelings of rejection by the person who is feeling more intently at that time. The truth is, you’re not being rejected at all. You’re simply dealing with a person who may have more issues to deal with before allowing feelings of love to come to the surface.
Before you give into an emotional outburst and demand to know why your partner doesn’t love you yet, give it some more time. Spend time doing fun things together that will allow your partner to appreciate your qualities and you’ll find the feelings will develop more freely when they’re given time and space to do so.
Remember that the happiest relationships involve respect for each other’s feelings and needs.
Tomorrow’s article will get into one of the major and perhaps the most dangerous part of the relationship.