The media have convinced us that parenting roles end after the age of eighteen. You might think that your child will grow up, move out, and they won’t need you anymore, but any parent can tell you that parenting never stops. That’s why a lot of people get scared and choose to refrain from having children. It’s the only lifelong commitment that you can’t, and you don’t want to get out of. Ellen Galinsky, a brilliant researcher, has summed all the different challenges and responsibilities that we face in parenthood in 6 stages. These phases show how our roles change as our children grow up. Paying attention to the different phases of parenthood is extremely important. Along with learning more about the art of distinguishing between our old habits in taking care of our children and their needs now are the only thing that will grant us success. In this article, we will explore the challenges that face young people today and how to offer your help as a parent.
The Mentor
Learning how to deal with your teenage children during the independent stage is tricky. You will start feeling that you are losing control over your kid at some point or the other during their teenage years. This is when you have to change your parenting methods in order to prevent any damages from happening. Studies showed that your kid could develop some personality problems such as separation anxiety just from the age of 3 months old. However, most mental and personality disorders tend to show their ugly symptoms during adolescence. Dealing with these symptoms while you are learning to allow your child to take control of their own lives is extremely important to how they will pass these issues and grow out of them.
The Friend
Many young adults get pressured by their group of friends to go through some new and sometimes dangerous experiences. Peer pressure isn’t enforced these days in the same old obvious ways. Social media and the people that surround your child might not apply direct pressure or follow traditional bullying techniques, but your kid will still be interested in trying out what everyone is talking about. During this stage, your guidance should start taking another approach. You need to let go of the dominating discipline approach. Being firm and giving orders during this stage will only throw your child in the arms of trying all the wrong things out of stubbornness. Instead, you need to befriend your child to be able to be there for them to prevent anything from happening.
The Listener
Teenagers and young adults are more willing to take risks and try out new challenges. They want to experience everything that life has to offer. That’s why many young adults are at risk of becoming addicts if they have abused drugs in their teenage years. Curiosity, peer pressure, stress, and emotional struggles are the most common reasons behind drug abuse between teens and young adults. Experts at Aion Recovery say that it’s very important to pay attention to the difference between drug abuse and addiction and how both have serious long-term cognitive and behavioral effects on young adults. Compassion and understanding are the only way you should follow in dealing with your children if they are facing these struggles. Expressing your frustration, disappointment, and fears in the form of accusations, judgments, or criticism will only push your kid apart from you. Instead, you can follow some of these coping mechanisms.
The Mediator
Young adults who deal with addiction need to be reminded of the decision they made and how they are responsible for them. Even though you might be intrigued to be the ‘rescuer’ and to solve their issues, it’s important to realize that it’s their full responsibility. Encouraging your children to own their mistakes will help them to take responsibility for their recovery.
The Disciplinary
Be careful of the amount of money you are giving your children. It’s important to specify an amount that will keep them in a good place without allowing them to have room for bad habits or behaviors. You don’t have to give them cash; you can just make sure that they have the groceries they need for the week. The idea here is to not just enforce power but to show them the value of money. A young adult who understands this and can take responsibility for their spending will definitely grow into a more experienced, well-rounded and mature adult.
The Supporter
Your child shouldn’t feel unloved regardless of the choices they made in their lives. Religious beliefs, gender, and sexual orientation, and addictions are some of the most feared topics between children and their parents. Society already provides too much stress; they don’t need that from you, too. Offer your love and support, even if you don’t support their life choices.
The Role Model
Many young adults face struggles these days; from lack of employment opportunities, fear of failure, body image issues, substance problems, negative stereotyping, and financial problems. You don’t have to feel like you are pressuring them to talk about their issues or that you are investigating them. Young adults are genuinely curious about how adults navigate through their 20s and 30s. So, leave room for your child to ask you questions that will help them in the future.
Accepting that your children are growing up will help you during these critical stages of parenthood. You need to learn how to adjust to your new role as a parent and how to get rid of the useless old habits. The most challenging part of being a parent is learning how to accept the person that your child is growing up to be. Praising your child for their hard work in school, in their personal development, or even on the steps they are taking toward independence is essential for raising healthy adults who don’t have mental or personality issues. We need to respect the differences between our children and ourselves in order to be able to offer support without criticizing or suffocating them.
