Finally realizing that you’ve found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is elating. You’re certain that anytime now, you’d get down on one knee to pop the question, or (if it’s the other way around) you’d say a proud “Yes!” when you get that long-awaited proposal. Just imagine your couple promise rings being replaced by a glimmering diamond engagement ring at last; at this point, you’re going to be on cloud nine.
But while the prospect of getting engaged is exciting and all, there would be essential matters that will be needing your attention before proposing. For example, it turns out that you actually don’t know your partner very well, or you haven’t even met his or her family yet. In case you’re thinking about just eloping, then it would be better to know that it’s not for everyone, and making decisions on a whim isn’t always worth it. Will you take that risk?
That said, it’s best to reflect on the following things before tying the knot:
Your Individual Values
Even before making your relationship official, you should’ve already discussed your individual values and beliefs. Things like religion, political views, and family practices and traditions should be openly talked about. You don’t have to agree on everything, but you shouldn’t clash, either.
Disagreements must be dealt with respect, and if you find yourself just on opposite ends of everything, you’d need extra effort on planning how to handle conflict.
Money will be an important part of your marriage, so you and your partner should be on the same page when it comes to it. Discuss how you’re going to handle your finances – your daily expenses, investments, savings, and even retirement.
Another critical part of a lifelong commitment, children should also be discussed openly before marriage. Be practical when you talk about kids and being parents.
Have you already met their family? If you haven’t yet, remember that they’re going to be your in-laws, so maybe it’s time to finally pay them a visit. Meeting their family and spending time with them will give you a closer look at how your partner was raised.
But what if you’ve met them and they don’t like you, apparently? It’s going to be a rough road ahead, but if your partner listens to your thoughts and feelings without judging you, is taking your side no matter what, and talks to you and to their folks to make things right, then you’ve got yourself a keeper. Think about where you’ve gone wrong, too, and patch things up with their family.
Your Personal Goals
If you’re going to live a life together, you need to plan on how you’re going to achieve your individual goals and aspirations. You should be supportive of each other and willing to make adjustments should it be necessary. Don’t even consider throwing away all your individual dreams just because you’re getting married. Remember that you still need to be yourself, even with a spouse.
Your Expectations About Marriage
Lastly and most importantly, you should be fully aware of what you’re signing up for when you decide to propose. Marriage isn’t a fairy tale, and in time, the honeymoon phase will be followed by mundane and stressful comings and goings such as daily chores, inevitable arguments, and making major decisions.
Set realistic expectations about marriage, and if you and your partner are confident that you can overcome all the challenges tied to marriage together, then you’ve found your soulmate and life partner. Sustain your relationship and be the best person for each other.